wolfielogo

Fuck your mother, fuck your father, flip ‘em over and then fuck the other!  Fuck you!

skulllong

fox

 

square500.JPG500 Days of Summer

Putting the poo back in cutsiepoo.

 

 

 

squarestreetrash.JPGStreet Trash: The Director’s Cut

Before hobos had shotguns, their bang came from within.

 

 

 

squareflashdanceFlashdance

Sometimes a feeling beats believing. 

But both of those trump knowing any day of the week.

 

 

squareblowjob.jpgBlow-Job

Here’s my take on the Blow-Up, Blow-Out type movie.

 

 

 

squareperfectgetaway.jpgThe Perfect Getaway

This review is spoiler-free but high on life!

 

 

 

squareinvasion.jpgAtheist Invasion

Father Andreas Barracuda delivers more salvation!

 

 

 

squarebadder.JPGBadder Lieutenant

When the Port of New Orleans calls, The Cage answers!

 

 

 

squarealexander.JPGAlexander: The Director’s Cut But Not The Director’s Final Cut

A gay epic observed by a hawk.

 

 

 

squaresmashcutSmash Cut

I put on my tux and stand in line and buy a ticket at this super-exclusive movie event of the year.

 

 

 

squaretraitaz.jpgTraitaz

The Traitors franchise gets a re-boot in the ass!

 

 

 

squaret4Terminator 4: Salvation

When he said he’d be back, he meant three more times.

 

 

 

squareroom.JPGTommy Wiseau’s The Room

You could cut the tension with a spoon.

 

 

 

squarekiller.jpgJohn Woo’s The Killer

Possessive title.

Not, John Woo is the killer.

 

 

squareH2.jpgRob Zomie’s H2

There’s a pale horse comin’, and Mike’s gonna ride it.

 

 

 

squaregfriend.jpgThe Girlfriend Experience

Like The Wife Experience only courtshipier!

 

 

 

squarefalcon.JPGLethal Falcon

Flipping the bird at crime.

 

 

 

squarejoe.jpgG.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

A real American (and other nations) hero(es / ines)

 

 

 

squarelaconf.jpgLos Angeles Confidential

Off the record, very hush-hush, and on Quentin Tarantino.

 

 

 

squaremegaforce.jpgMegaforce

Balls not words.

 

 

 

squarepilot.jpgThe Pilot

Here’s this simple, to-the-point, barebones, minimalist, concise, lean thriller I wrote.

 

 

 

squareramboturk.jpgRampage (aka Turkish Rambo)

No relation to the Son of Rambow

 

 

 

squarechunli.jpgThe Legend of Chun-Li

Her legend is better than Bagger Vance’s.

 

 

 

squareshowgirls.jpgShowgirls

Paul Verhoeven goes all about Eve!

 

 

 

squaretermin.jpgLady Terminator

James Cameron’s sci-fi classic gets re-Indomagined!

 

 

 

squaretlbt2.jpgTwo Lane Blood Top: Chapter Two: Easier Said Than Done

The boys seek some R&R and T&A but it blows up like TNT.

 

 

 

squareroad.JPGCormac McCarthy’s The Road

A book about going to the mall and getting more than you bargained for.

Plus they fuck around with a flare gun.

 

 

squarecolder.JPGA Colder War

An adventure as big as Oleg.

 

 

 

squarestartrek.jpgStar Trek

The future is a lot like the recent past.

 

 

 

square4fast4 Fast 4 Furious

I waited until the break of dawn, I thought this day would never come.

 

 

 

squarespiritedSpirited Away

This is a children’s child movie for kiddie kids.

 

 

 

squarerighteous.JPGRighteous Kill

Further crap from the film genre known as the thriller.

 

 

 

squareswede.jpgDon’t Let The Wrong One Past The Threshold

I’m talkin’ about that same Swedish vampire lovestory everybody else is talkin’ about.

Though I’d rather be talkin’ about Shaft.

 

 

squareshock.JPGShock Gauntlet

This my attempt at writing a blaxploitation superhero movie.

By request from Renee.

 

 

squareresevil.jpgResident Evil 2: The Apocalypse

Here’s the real bloody Valentine.

 

 

 

squaretgp.jpgTokyo gore Police

I don’t have much to say except this film receives my highest possible honour.

 

 

 

squarecagedheat.JPGCaged Heat

Jonathan Demme’s 1974 tale of penal woe.

 

 

 

thefall.jpgThe Fall

Here’s a film that is a very lucky #7!

 

 

 

gaga.jpgMusician of the Year 2008: Lady Gaga

This chick is unbelievable.

 

 

 

squarebadassBest Supporting Badass

Here’s this Jet Li vehicle I wrote up.

Try to count the reasons it would never get made.

 

 

squaretransporter3.jpgTransporter 3

There’s something to be said about this type of hero

and I say it (in the living years).

 

 

squarequatum.JPGCasino Royale 2: The Quantum of Solace

The camerawork is shaken, not stirred.

 

 

 

squarescarface.jpgScarface: The Grand Master

My ode to this exploitation epic.

 

 

 

squaretlbt1.jpgTwo Lane Blood Top: Chapter 1: Blood Crush

My biker vigilante epic gets rolling.

 

 

 

squaresavage.jpgSavage Streets

These streets are savage and from 1984, although they are not streets of fire.

 

 

 

squarekapp.jpgBuss a Kapp

Here’s my attempt at a youth-oriented urban drama film.

 

 

 

squarehighlander2.jpgHighlander 2: Renegade Version

This one’s a doosey.

 

 

 

squarehatemachine.jpgThe Hate Machine

Here’s this car chase movie I wrote since I don’t get to see King of the Mountain.

 

 

 

squarebangkok.jpgBangkok Dangerous

There’s only one way out….of The Cage!

 

 

 

squarecleo.jpgCleopatra Jones

The one.  The only.  Unless you count the sequel.

 

 

 

squaredeathrace.jpgDeath Race

This film is a pleasant magazine in the waiting room for Transporter 3.

 

 

 

squaretraitors.jpgTraitors Bonanza!

A movie marathon of deceit, betrayal, revenge, and clusterfuckbackstabs.

 

 

 

squaretimebitch.jpgTimebitch

They made her to fuck up the past.

Now she’s going to fuck up their future.

 

 

squaredolph.jpgMen of War

This motherfucker’s got the touch of the poet.

 

 

 

squaresmoochy.jpgDeath to Smoochy

I guess this is a movie I saw.

 

 

 

squareskunkfarm.jpgSkunk Farm Skanks

Here’s my take on a Straw Dogs type of movie.

The title was inspired by Bad News Bears.

 

 

squaretopless.jpgThe Topless Boxer Saga

Two movies I wrote about a topless boxer.

 

 

 

squareblueberry.jpgMy Blueberry Nights

I talk about a corny jazz romance movie I rented.

 

 

 

squaresnoop.jpgSnoop Dogg Concert

For those of you who thought I’d quit being a fuckup, here’s your proof that I haven’t.

 

 

 

square10000.jpg10,000 B.C. (Ten Thousand Belle, Camilla)

Roland Emmerich’s latest entry in the movies-that-are-okay-once genre.

 

 

 

squarekohmovie.jpgKingdom of Hell: The Movie

Here’s a bit more of me patting myself on the back for completing my graphic novel.

It’s sort of a Hollywood dream fantasy.

 

 

squarekoh10.JPGKingdom of Hell: Chapter Ten

It’s all over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

skulllong

 

 

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all this shit is copyrighted, motherfuckers.