Fuck
your mother, fuck your father, flip ‘em over and then fuck the other! Fuck you!
Putting
the poo back in cutsiepoo.
Street
Trash: The Director’s Cut
Before
hobos had shotguns, their bang came from within.
Sometimes
a feeling beats believing.
But
both of those trump knowing any day of the week.
Here’s
my take on the Blow-Up, Blow-Out type movie.
This
review is spoiler-free but high on life!
Father
Andreas Barracuda delivers more salvation!
When
the Port of New Orleans calls, The Cage answers!
Alexander:
The Director’s Cut But Not The Director’s Final Cut
A
gay epic observed by a hawk.
I
put on my tux and stand in line and buy a ticket at this super-exclusive movie
event of the year.
The
Traitors franchise gets a re-boot in the ass!
When
he said he’d be back, he meant three more times.
You
could cut the tension with a spoon.
Possessive
title.
Not,
John Woo is the killer.
There’s
a pale horse comin’, and Mike’s gonna ride it.
Like
The Wife Experience only courtshipier!
Flipping
the bird at crime.
A
real American (and other nations) hero(es / ines)
Off
the record, very hush-hush, and on Quentin Tarantino.
Balls
not words.
Here’s
this simple, to-the-point, barebones, minimalist, concise, lean thriller I
wrote.
No
relation to the Son of Rambow
Her
legend is better than Bagger Vance’s.
Paul
Verhoeven goes all about Eve!
James
Cameron’s sci-fi classic gets re-Indomagined!
Two Lane
Blood Top: Chapter Two: Easier Said Than Done
The
boys seek some R&R and T&A but it blows up like TNT.
A
book about going to the mall and getting more than you bargained for.
Plus
they fuck around with a flare gun.
An
adventure as big as Oleg.
The
future is a lot like the recent past.
I
waited until the break of dawn, I thought this day would never come.
This
is a children’s child movie for kiddie kids.
Further
crap from the film genre known as the thriller.
Don’t Let The
Wrong One Past The Threshold
I’m
talkin’ about that same Swedish vampire lovestory everybody else is talkin’
about.
Though
I’d rather be talkin’ about Shaft.
This
my attempt at writing a blaxploitation superhero movie.
By
request from Renee.
Resident
Evil 2: The Apocalypse
Here’s
the real bloody Valentine.
I
don’t have much to say except this film receives my highest possible honour.
Jonathan
Demme’s 1974 tale of penal woe.
Here’s
a film that is a very lucky #7!
Musician of the Year
2008: Lady Gaga
This
chick is unbelievable.
Here’s
this Jet Li vehicle I wrote up.
Try
to count the reasons it would never get made.
There’s
something to be said about this type of hero
and
I say it (in the living years).
Casino Royale
2: The Quantum of Solace
The
camerawork is shaken, not stirred.
My ode to this exploitation epic.
Two Lane
Blood Top: Chapter 1: Blood Crush
My
biker vigilante epic gets rolling.
These
streets are savage and from 1984, although they are not streets of fire.
Here’s
my attempt at a youth-oriented urban drama film.
Highlander
2: Renegade Version
This
one’s a doosey.
Here’s
this car chase movie I wrote since I don’t get to see King of the Mountain.
There’s
only one way out….of The Cage!
The
one. The only. Unless you count the sequel.
This
film is a pleasant magazine in the waiting room for Transporter 3.
A
movie marathon of deceit, betrayal, revenge, and clusterfuckbackstabs.
They
made her to fuck up the past.
Now
she’s going to fuck up their future.
This
motherfucker’s got the touch of the poet.
I
guess this is a movie I saw.
Here’s
my take on a Straw Dogs type of
movie.
The
title was inspired by Bad News Bears.
Two
movies I wrote about a topless boxer.
I
talk about a corny jazz romance movie I rented.
For
those of you who thought I’d quit being a fuckup, here’s your proof that I
haven’t.
10,000 B.C.
(Ten Thousand Belle, Camilla)
Roland
Emmerich’s latest entry in the movies-that-are-okay-once genre.
Here’s
a bit more of me patting myself on the back for completing my graphic novel.
It’s
sort of a Hollywood dream fantasy.
It’s all over.
all this shit is copyrighted, motherfuckers.